I can accomplish far more in a day here while living alone than I ever could living in the city while commuting to a downtown office. At rush hour in Seattle, it took me about an hour each way, so there are two hours shot. Then on top of this, when I was in the office, social chit-chat zapped another hour throughout the day, most of which was hearing what someone did on a weekend, or about some crazy aunt or a sick cat. I miss some of it, but here in Missouri, I get to focus on my work, and I love that. I don’t miss the boring meetings.
Everyone who lives alone will tell you how they get to do what they want when they want, but it’s far deeper than that. Doing things at that pace, in that structure of what you want, when you want, makes us better at everything we do. We’re always our optimum selves. This is what’s often missed about living alone, and it’s the most important point of all. My best writing is in some odd hour when the mood strikes. Or, I’ll have a client idea, and I’ll sit and fuss over it and delay dinner. I’m not working around the schedule of someone else.
But sometimes, in the middle of the night, I’ll play loud music or watch a movie, and that too feels efficient. The other night I was up working in my home office at around 3 AM, just as a great thunderstorm came through. I sat there thinking about perfect moments in life, and it could not have been more special to me, right down to what I was writing about as the storm passed. I was well aware of just how unique that exact slice of time was for me.
Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support.
I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized.
he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that.
he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened.
he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence.
i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me
i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction.
after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly.
things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it.
we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe …
our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far?
this has upset me so much its hard to even function.
I live out in the country, on acreage, and I have no commute to anywhere, so I’m home a lot. I keep my house perfectly maintained, in order, and clean, so everything has its place. I’m a neat freak, but not compulsive. I just like order so I can be efficient. I’m not to the point where I put screws in little jars, but almost.
There is very little stress because I’m my own organizer. I’ll look at my list of home projects and pick something off, or work on client issues, but it’s all at the pace I set. My favorite home projects are anything that involves the tractor. Even mowing feels good for the brain, and sometimes I hurry; other times, nope, I’m just taking my time.
Where do I even begin? I love the silence from the moment I’m home, except for my happy dog who’s usually by my side. The box turtle outside is bouncing his head in anticipation of me giving him some apple slices.
MindsEye team deploys first hotfix as they scramble to make the dang thing work - Polygon
I’ve always been a fairly happy guy, but sometimes with too much stress. Over the years, I’ve figured out how to create the perfect life, and I can’t recall a time when I’ve ever been happier.
Here, working and living alone, my work calls are condensed down to typically 30 minutes or less. We get on the phone, Zoom, or some other camera meet-up, we cover our key points, and we’re off. I then plow into my work. I can spend my former commute time getting real productive work done, and I can do it at any hour of the day or night. I love every bit of it. I still have visitors, and I enjoy that too, but most of all, I love the concentration time of working alone.
